February 10, 2015

More sex? Give your partner a compliment this St Valentine’s Day!

With St. Valentine’s Day just around the corner today, Ireland’s leading online parenting community is excited to reveal the results of the country’s most comprehensive Sex Survey which focuses on the relationships and sex lives of mums in Ireland.

Love is in the air and this St. Valentine’s Day, MummyPages reveals insights into what women want from their partner on this, the most romantic day of the year. Looking at the bedtime behaviours and attitudes of mums, the in-depth survey from MummyPages discovers the ins and outs of a couple’s sex life and the factors that lead to a change in the sex life of busy parents.

MummyPages reveals mums would be inclined to have more sex if:
• If they were happier with their bodies
• If their partner made a bit more of an effort such as organising a date night
• If they received more attention from their partner, such as a simple compliment

Top three date nights voted by mums for this St. Valentine’s Day:
1. A cosy night in watching a movie followed by a kiss and a cuddle
2. A night of passion with their partner
3. A nice meal cooked for them

Here are the main findings of MummyPages sex survey:
• 82% of mums enjoy having sex
• 86% of parents find the most time for intimacy in the evenings after the children are in bed
• 60% of mums have sex with their partner more than once a week
• 30% get busy in the bedroom up to two and three times a week
• 25% have sex once a month or less
• 2% have sex every day while 16% of couples are having sex less than ten times a year
• 15% of parents have been caught in the act by their children
• 75% of mums admit to changes in their sex life following babies
• 71% of mums totally unprepared for the changes to their sex life
• 56% of mums miss their pre-baby sex life
• 58% of mums are reluctant to talk about post-baby sex
• 55% of mums admit masturbating before having children however this increased to 64% after having children
• 26% of mums use toys in the bedroom
• 36% of mums admit to having sex during their menstrual period cycle
• 84% of mums believe sex is one of many important factors in maintaining a healthy relationship
• Exhaustion, low self-esteem and reduced sensation are top three factors resulting in significant changes in a couple’s sex life

Check out MummyPages TV for some sexpert advice from Alix Fox –

While eight in ten of our mums enjoy sex, worryingly nearly a quarter of mums admit to getting out of the habit of having regular sex. This has now become a big unspoken issue in their relationship leading to 16% of mums having sex less than ten times in a year.

Three-quarters of mums admit to significant changes in their sex life since becoming parents:
1. Exhaustion is the main factor attributing to changes in frequency in a couple’s sex life with 80% of mums struggling to juggle work, childcare and housework.
2. The second major factor affecting over half of all mums is low self-esteem, confidence and body issues that arise as a result women’s bodies changing shape and putting on weight through their pregnancy.
3. Reduced sensation down below is the third main issue for 33% of mums, with 71% of mums admitting they were totally unprepared for this. A quarter of mums report being pleasantly surprised by enjoying sex more after children.

Sadly, over half of the mums surveyed admit missing the sex life they had with their partner before children came along. Surprisingly, talking about these changes remains to be a taboo subject with 58% of mums reluctant to talk about post-baby sex even amongst their own friends.

Masturbation is a topic that’s not often discussed openly amongst women, however MummyPages can reveal that the percentage of mums who masturbate regularly increased from 55% before having children to 64% after having children. Surprisingly, despite the Fifty Shades of Grey craze the use of sex toys is pretty low with only 26% of mums using toys in the bedroom however 36% of mums admit to having sex during their menstrual period cycle.

Commenting on MummyPages findings is Laura Haugh, Mum-in-Residence for MummyPages:
“A healthy sex life is one of many important factors in maintaining a healthy relationship, alongside other factors like good communication, being caring towards one another and being a good parent.”

“A couple’s relationship and sex life has its own lifecycle from the early stage of a relationship where couples are very active with the excitement of getting to know one another, to the sleepless nights after your first born.”

“For men sex is more of a functional act whereas for women it’s about feeling loved and desired by their partner. It’s unfortunate to think that besides tiredness, the main reasons for mums avoiding sex is due to a lack of confidence, with many of our mums unhappy with their post baby bodies. It’s hard for mums to feel sexy when they are still adjusting to their body’s physical changes, especially those who may still be breastfeeding, while for others weight gain and a change in body shape contribute to many women having an identity crisis.“

“It’s very important for men to be attentive and caring towards their partner, if a woman feels loved and desired by her partner she is more inclined to feel comfortable in all areas of her life including the bedroom. Women have a tendency to over think things and worry about whether their partner still finds them attractive. This is why it is so important to provide your partner with constant reassurance, a simple compliment can make a huge difference to a woman’s confidence and self-esteem which crosses over into the boudoir.”